Yes, you’ll fail. This is how you’ll actually learn from it

Embracing failure isn’t easy. But approaching it as a process can help you become stronger overall.

Failure has no shortage of platitudes singing its praises. It’s the best teacher, of course. We’re supposed to “fail forward” and “fail fast.” Fall down seven times, and get up eight. Paraphrasing U.S. President Theodore Roosevelt, it’s better to do mighty things, even checkered by failure, than to have never tried at all.
But the next time you make a big work-related blunder or your project crashes, take note of exactly how many people rush forth to congratulate you on the amazing learning experience you just had. It’s more likely that you’re going to be managing negative feelings and fallout from the failure. “The idea that we should embrace failure, and that failure is a great teacher, is in many ways in direct conflict with the way we actually respond to failure,” says Susan Baroncini-Moe, CEO of Indianapolis-based Baroncini-Moe Executive Coaching, LLC. The competing expectations or ideas about behavior related to failure can make us feel worse–like we’re failing at failing, she adds. Benefiting from failure’s lessons is a process, says Elizabeth Perea, PhD, owner of New York City-based T3 Training, a sales and performance training consultancy. To go through it and come out the other side stronger, it’s best to follow some established steps.

MANAGE THE EMOTIONS

One of the most damaging beliefs about failure is that you must immediately embrace it, says Baroncini-Moe. “No, no, no. You start by feeling your feelings. That’s the first step in the process to bouncing back,” she says. The first step she advises for her clients is to “revel in the pain.” When you try to brush off the very real emotions and insecurities that can arise, they will eventually resurface, she says. But don’t do anything rash when you’re in this emotional state. She points to research from staffing firm Robert Half, which found that 67% of managers report an increase in absenteeism or resignations after a negative performance review. Allowing yourself time to feel the humiliation, embarrassment, anger, or other emotions that come with failing–making a big mistake, receiving a negative performance evaluation, or getting fired, for example–helps you get beyond the failure faster, she says.

Continue Reading HERE This article is BY GWEN MORAN

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